Message Forum

Sally, I wish you were our congress person instead of the one we have (yes, one of those who voted for the bill to allow guns in nursery schools, among a plethora of objectionable ideas he has). I agree with your entire program, but even those who don't buy into all of your great ideas might be persuaded to go along with a renewed assault weapon ban. We have lots of hunters here, as you probably do as well, but I'm sure that most of them would admit they don't need enough firepower to finish off a whole classroom of kids without even re-loading. Surely they can't believe that to be armed like this is a "right"!

12/16/12 02:11 PM

#751

I appreciated reaading all the postings on the Sandy Hook shooting issue. There has not been one day of the last three without tears. I have been reliving this scene, replacing the school at Sandy Hook with any of my first grades or Kindergartens over my 35 years of teaching. My anger at the continued excuses I'm hearing from gun dealers being interviewed on TV continues to rise. It usually goes like this: "there's no need to change any laws because if a mentally illl person wants to get a gun, they will get it." Right. How about making a START! Yes, it will take a long time to get all the assault weapons out of circulation. Somehow I can't picture the killer's suburban housewife mom looking up a black market gun/drug dealer in her desperation to procure an assault weapon. These were available at her friendly corner sporting goods store. The authorities of the Land - starting with the President and all the legislators need to tell all the terrified children across this country that they are going to do everything they can to be sure this never happens again. That is the only thing that will cut it for children (and school personnel) for whom this was the ultimate terrorist act. I'm going to try to post a link to an incredible, and embarrassing - for our country - series of 4 graphs that show the U.S. soaring above all other countries in the world in gun possession/ownership - even war-ravaged countries like Iraq and Yemen.

12/16/12 08:38 PM

#752

Garry Sellers

I can't turn on the news because it's too hard for me to hear even the remotest detail of what happened. Terri and the other teachers in our group I have nothing but the highest regard for your career choices and don't doubt you would be as heroic as some were a few days ago.

I started this venting when I couldn't contain myself. I was probably wrong to do so here. It's time to let it go ... at least as far as the Custer website is concerned. I hope you all have a passion for finding the answers to a complex issue. But not here please. You can accuse me of being a shallow person ... and you may be right ... but this was to be a vehicle to communicate between old friends not debate solutions to horrific issues.

This Christmas I'm going to hug my little ones just a bit longer. I started yesterday by rocking 10 week old Owen to sleep for 2 hours while his Mommy and Daddy were out shopping and his sisters and cousins were making cookies with Grandma. Yes, I know I should have put him down but what else are Grandpas for except spoiling grandkids?

12/16/12 10:17 PM

#753

Jim Cejka

To combine and paraphrase J.K. Rowling and Pogo -

We have met the Dementors, and they are us.

12/17/12 04:03 AM

#754

As I said, I appreciated reading the thoughts and opinions about this horrible tragedy. This is not about an election or candidate. It's about sharing your feelings among friends (very OLD friends!). I'd like to think that could be done on this Forum without stepping on any toes; I don't think there's any debate about wanting the mass shootings to stop.

12/17/12 07:51 AM

#755

Jeanne Zinser (Gottschalk)

Jim..........confession: I had to look up "Dementors".

12/17/12 09:02 AM

#756

Marian Schopp (Bringe)

I think Garry is right. Once we have acknowledged one of the worst days in recent American history, we should save our limited space on our website for communicating about things we remember and what we are doing today. It is fun sharing our lives and thoughts like we did before the awful shootings. I am very opinionated about guns and politics and religion - but I don't think this message forum was intended for those discussions. We can also send private messages through the message center option. I don't know if that takes up website space?

12/17/12 09:18 AM

#757

(Whoops...by mistake, deleted the following, which I posted yesterday.)

Garry:

I wouldn't accuse you of exhibiting shallowness. Rather, I think you're using common sense. It's a slippery slope to debate some of the sensitive issues involved in this horrendous tragedy. In my opinion, you're absolutely correct--the forum is not the place for such rhetoric. As with the politics of the past election, toes are bound to be stepped upon. That's something that positively needs to be avoided.

12/17/12 09:27 AM

#758

Wow, Jeanne......I read this yesterday! And then it disappeared! (sometimes things on the laptop don't appear on the i pad)

I'm happy to see I'm not the only one whose gadgets operate independently of the owner's intentions. I'm lucky, though. Karsten rescues me from my ineptitude. And if all else fails, we turn to our son-in-law. Soon I'll have our grand daughter to help me - she's 1 1/2 and should surpass my expertise in about a year.

12/17/12 09:59 AM

#759

Marilyn Griffith (Bauer)

Please allow me this one post.

I don’t comment very much on this forum, but happened upon it this morning. All of us are impacted by the utterly devastating and senseless shootings in Newton on Friday. We are consumed with many confusing and unexplainable emotions. We’re human and thankfully have that capacity. Most of the victims were young and innocent children. As parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. we become concerned about the children we hold dear to us. We can’t imagine what we would do if anything happens to them. As a former elementary school counselor, mother and grandma, I think of my youngest grandchildren that are so beautiful and innocent. My first instinct is to tell them I love them dearly and hold them tight. They will have questions after they begin to talk with their young friends today. Listen to their questions and answer thoughtfully and truthfully.

For all children, it is important to emphasize that what happened in Newtown is a rare occurrence. Reassure children that schools are safe places and that safety measures are in place to protect them. Discuss the many fun and important activities they do at school and emphasize the many positive aspects of going to school and participating in school activities. Children function best with structure, therefore, routines should be kept as normal as possible. Predictability fosters security.

Celebrate this season of love and peace. Hold everyone dear to you. Have no regrets.

12/17/12 11:17 AM

#760

Watched "The View" today with my wife. (I make no apologies, and I think my maleness is still intact, guys ;-) ) . Listened and was amazed by the discussion with Dr Michael Welner, Forensic Psychiatrist expert. (Google him). Everyone on both sides of the mental health, societal and firearm issues should hear what he had to say. It is the clearest testimonial of these horrific events that I have ever heard. Regardless of your stance on any of the issues, what he says should unite us all. In my opinion, It effectively clears the tables of our disparate rhetoric. I am going to try to figure out how to get a transcript tape. Anybody know how to do that?

12/17/12 11:50 AM

#761

Great advice, Marilyn. I'm going to send your reply to one of the teachers who was asking me. I had also told her' "Emphaize how seldom these things happen." Hopefully - less often in the future. (That's just my opinion, something it says at the top of the Forum that we are supposed to be able to express on it). Warren, I'd love to have a transcript of that episode. Let me know if you find out how. Hmmm. Maybe "OnDemand?" Nancy, you're completely right about your granddaughter in another year - LOL. Jim, I think you have sorted out the Harry Potter fans!

12/17/12 03:02 PM

#762

I found this wise counsel and perhaps helpful to someone (quoted from the article cited below):

“………… a strategy that’s commonly used for anxiety in children….’worried thought, brave thought’. We teach kids to counter a worried thought with a brave thought………and to know that although the worried thought may come back, the brave thoughts are always there as well. A worried thought might be, ‘A shooter will come to my children’s school and there is nothing I can do about it” with the brave counter ‘School shootings are still rare, and countless people are working to make them rarer still’.

From The New York Times:

MOTHERLODE BLOG: How Not to Talk With Children About the Newtown Shooting

Sometimes the question isn't just how to talk to your child about tragedy, but how be certain that you're talking with your children for their sake, and not for yours.

http://nyti.ms/SZ0mmw

12/17/12 05:58 PM

#763

Nancy, I LOVE the "brave thought'! It is so true that this is how kids typically deal with fears. Did you hear the story out of Sandy Hook that one little boy told his teacher, "I'll lead us out. I know Karate!" I already passed Marilyn's advice on to a teacher at "my" school (the one where I taught for 23 years and am now subbing). i know she is passing everything on to all the teachers, and I will be happy to pass this advice, and article too. THANKS! The message forum can be a great place to exchange information, if we are not afraid to discuss current issues - especially with all the accumulated wisdom of all our alums!

12/17/12 08:37 PM

#764

Garry Sellers

Listen folks, I don't mind discussions about coping with this issue (I certainly need the help) or how to deal with children's anxieties or advice to current teachers in dealing with students. However, I don't think we can afford to get into a debate about gun control, international corporations having too much power, immigration reform, or one I would throw in, the impact of unions on education. If you want to create a chat room for that purpose we can set one up under "Live Chat" but you would have to put in your password first.

Any time there are two people in a room, even a chat room, it invovles some level of politics. The reunion and this website's purpose was to reunite people who grew up together 50 years ago ... a bit of nostalgia, a bit of catching up on 50 years, and a bit of who you've become. Shallow? You bet! Where else can I be that shallow and have fun doing it? Do I want to challenge Rod Gehrig's view of his teachers union versus my view? No, I want to give Rod a hug and ask him about his life and the awards he won for teaching ... and tease him about playing second base because of his weak throwing arm (I don't know that that's true)! And I'd like to have a drink with him again sometime soon. Can we share our sorrow over the CT disaster and maybe how we're coping? Ya, why not? Between him and me, privately, we might even discuss gun control. But not here!

So if enough of you feel that I'm drawing the line in the wrong place, then let me know. We can open it up wide. And then you can also get another webhost because it won't be me.

12/17/12 08:51 PM

#765

Absolutely NOT drawing the line in the wrong place, Garry. This excellent site is not the place for active debate. We don't want to lose you, or your pleasant darts!

12/18/12 08:43 AM

#766

Marian Schopp (Bringe)

Amen Warren. Garry is a hoot. We know he has a soft heart for little people and also that he is funny as heck. Let's keep our website as it was before the tragedy.

12/18/12 09:04 AM

#767

Pleasant darts? I have been "darted", harassed, harangued, persecuted, and all but tarred and feathered. But Garry's just so darned cute - so, small price to pay.

12/18/12 10:31 AM

#768

Amen Nancy - (I've seen some of those "darts") - but if we're going to discourage people from voicing opinions, we should probably be more specific in the statement at the top of the Forum:

This message forum is an ongoing discussion about anything and just about everything (within reason Ron!). One thing our class was good at was having opinions. Fifty years of life experience certainly qualifies us as experts on most everything! Ask a question ... give an opinion ... share some insights ... it's our web site, it's our forum. Go for it!

Any suggestions?

For the record, I feel every one in this great country of ours in entitled to express their opinion, and although I've read some here I disagreed with, my toes have never felt "stepped on". I feel one of the greatest gifts I've received this year is being reacquainted with my Custer classmates - opinions and all. We are a unique bunch of "experts" from a unique place and time in this universe, and I have enjoyed getting reacquainted with all of you this past year!

12/18/12 03:42 PM

#769

How about we call it the No-Podium Friendship zone? Just sayin"

12/18/12 04:21 PM

#770

Jeanne Zinser (Gottschalk)

Okay - one more thing that I need to say, then I'll be quiet :-) Please, Garry, know that I - and all of us - am indebted to you for taking the helm of the Forum, and you have shaped and guided it into one of my favorite "go-to" websites every day. And if you feel you have to say' "We won't talk about. . . . . ." in order to keep it the great place it is, then so be it. "You da man!!!" We all have other places where we can exercise our right to express our opinions.

But we do need to modify the definition of our Forum. I like the feeling of Warren's suggestion! "No podium"

12/18/12 05:45 PM

#771

I guess that my statement "toes are bound to be stepped upon" in a previous post has obviously stepped upon some people's toes. And for that, I sincerely apologize.

12/18/12 09:42 PM

#772

Garry Sellers

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12/19/12 08:48 AM

#773